Tips for my single friends... falling in love with yourself this winter season..."You complete you."

“You complete me.” “You had me at hello.” As I think of these phrases from that movie especially during this winter season I wonder why we set ourselves up for counting on someone else to fulfill us. Many in the autism community are single and what does that mean if you don’t have that “somebody special?” Does it mean that you aren’t complete in some way?

Last night I was in a coffee shop and I heard a group of ladies tell their friend that she had so many great gifts to offer a man and that her prince charming would come. That got me thinking about what we are taught at such an early age. Think about it: Cinderella, Snow White, heck even Pretty Woman. It seems as though as women we are waiting to be rescued and until then our life is not complete…

This time of the year everywhere you go there are couples holding hands, people cuddling up next to a fireplace, commercials on television about men buying women jewelry and the list goes on… This got me thinking about why we search our lives for our “other half” and what happens if you never find that. Is this “other half” also looking for us? They have made it a billion dollar business now playing cupid through internet dating sites, match makers, single groups and even reality shows now!

I think for the most part we have all been in love at some point with someone and we all remember those butterflies in our stomach. We would sit around thinking, “Hmmm…will they call today?” I hear people say that they are happier without anyone when they are single. However, I often wonder if that is true because suddenly when they meet someone everyone tells them, “See when you stop looking, you will find someone.”

Now with Facebook it seems like everywhere I turn all I see are perfectly happy families across the country. People post pictures of happy families, friends, gosh even the dog looks happy in these pictures. I wonder if Facebook is good because to me it creates a sense of false reality.

What if we raised our next generation with thoughts of being happy without someone and allowing one’s self to get to know the real you. If you are single here are some tips that I would recommend you trying. Enjoy falling in love with you this season….

1. Go to a movie by yourself (I personally love this as I get to sit wherever I want and eat whatever I want-plus I can go whenever I want without having to wait for someone else).

2. Book a massage (it is so important to take care of yourself-if money is tight look for a local massage school as they have discounted rates)

3. Go to a restaurant by yourself (this was a big one for me as you have to say to the hostess, “One for dinner.”)

4. Talk a walk on the beach, or a local park and think about what you want out of life (I like listening to my iPod and just taking in the atmosphere).

5. At night when the house is quiet, sip on a glass of wine and read a book, a magazine or listen to some nice music.

Being alone does not have to be a bad thing and I love the idea of falling in love with myself…think about it, I never break up with myself, I am always there when I need me, I don’t mind my morning breath, I already know all my secrets, and at the end of the day the only one that completes us is really us… not our spouse, child, work, friends or even our pets… Enjoy life today and don’t press the pause button waiting for someone else… this is your movie and you are the director.

Much love to all of my single friends this winter season!!

Xoxo,
Kristin Selby Gonzalez
AKA: Jaxson's Mom