Dads are Important

• The more frequently a father visited the hospital of an infant who is prematurely born, the more rapidly the infant gained weight and the more quickly the infant was able to leave the hospital.
• More important, the more the father visited, the better was the infant's social-personal development and its ability to adapt.
• In a study of black infants, the more interaction the boy had with the father, the higher his mental competence and psychomotor functioning by the age of six months.
• By the age of three years, psychomotor functioning is associated with the development of a higher I.Q.
• Psychologists at the National Institutes of Mental Heath have found that boys who have contact with their fathers display a greater trust level even by the time they are five to six months old.
• We usually think of empathy as something transmitted via the mother. Thus one of the most surprising findings about father involvement is that "the amount of time a father spends with a child is one of the strongest predictors of empathy in adulthood."
• Students from father-present families score higher in math and science even when they come from weaker schools.
• First-grade black and white children of both sexes raised in father-absent families recorded significantly lower I.Q. scores than those with fathers present.
• A study of boys from similar backgrounds revealed that by the third grade, the boys with fathers present scored higher on every achievement test and received higher grades.
• Elementary-school children living without their dads did worse on twenty-one of twenty-seven social-competence measures and eight out of nine academic measures. They were also more likely to repeat grades, were absent more frequently, and were less popular with their peers. Overall the boys suffered more than the girls.
• Children living without dads were more likely to be absent from school and to have more suspensions, more expulsions, and a higher rate of truancy.
• The area of achievement most negatively impacted by father absence was math and science aptitude.
• The Harvard Educational Review suggests that fathers seem to help children develop the thinking skills that lead to success in math.
• Students coming from father-present families score higher in math and science, even when they come from weaker schools.
• Students from father-absent homes score "dramatically" lower on college entrance examinations and are 1.5 times more likely to be unemployed, not only in their teens, but well into their mid-twenties.
• The more the father is involved, the more easily the child makes open, receptive, and trusting contact with new people in his/her life.
• In an extensive Guidubaldi study of elementary-school children, children without fathers are likely to have more nightmares, have greater anxiety, be less popular with peers, and be more hostile to adults. They were more likely to be dependent, inattentive, and either aggressive, withdrawn, or both. They were poorer at social skills in general and communication in particular.
• The most important factor by far in preventing drug use is a close personal relationship with Dad.
• Ninety percent of homeless or runaway children are from fatherless homes.
• The Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency reports that the more absent the father, the higher the rates of violent crimes.

rights of passage

Our American culture lacks rights of passage. I think such ceremonies for our kids could foster their development. Social and family acknowledgment of life transition stages could be helpful in developing a since of duty, place and belonging as well as a sense of respect from the communities around them.

Maybe it's time for us Dads to have a discussion about what milestones could/should be celebrated in our children's lives as well as our own families raising our kids. Such group encouragement and recognition community could help those "see the forest for the trees" at key times.

While I agree in principle

While I agree in principle with what you are proposing, Keith, in practical terms it would be usurped by Hallmark and 50 other corporate concerns who would commoditize the rituals into stylish fashion plays best observed enjoying a McMilestone Happy Meal.

Cynical? Not really. Aggressively optimistic is closer, but my outlook does take into account the cult-like stage of development our country is going through.

Unshackling corporate greed from America’s goals is not that far off.

One such ceremony could be

One such ceremony could be the giving of a plaque or picture of a family crest at a key stage. It would tie one to a place among others rather than just themselves. A reminder of their place of belonging and responsibility to someone besides themselves.

Thus replacing the corporate logos signifying selfishness and greed with the family crests symbolizing belonging and deed might address such a goal of better, and I think, more appropriate social constructs for our children, ourselves and our society as a whole.

An Exceptional Dad

You are an exemplary dad, and I am so grateful that you are part of Ian's life.