Come Back to Me

This was something I wrote on my way home from the Chicago Autism One conference in May. It was the first big conference I had been able to attend. Friends helped get me there and back while my family waited patiently for me to return home.

Come Back to Me
By Cathy Jameson

People are rushing to their gates at the O’Hare Airport. One thought on their mind: quickly get to their destination. I’m sitting quietly enjoying a few minutes of people watching while waiting for my own flight’s departure. I’m heading home to my family after spending the weekend at the Autism One Conference in Chicago. I’m anxiously anticipating the most amazing welcome home screams from my children and my husband Steve who ‘flew solo’ with the kids while I was away. I don’t find it just a coincidence that the song I heard at the end of this information-filled weekend while on the shuttle bus to the airport was “Come Back to Me” by David Cook. I find it a perfect feeling many parents in the autism world have about their child. With my own unrecovered son, my biggest dream and hope-filled reality is that Ronan one day will come back to me.

If I had to bring home one message from the conference, which would be hard since it was jam-packed and I absorbed a lot of information, the message would be that our cause, our community and many of the affected children are not ready to give up. Why else would the likes of so many parent-run and child-inspired programs, resource centers, support groups, therapeutic-related products, businesses and more converge in one location for a week-long event that educates, informs and inspires to deliver the message that our kids are worth the fight? The opportunity Autism One provided, to guide those of us who have heard and want to do something about that message, included a legal training seminar, biomedical intervention presentations, a seizure think tank, and demonstrations on how to find and use dietary interventions. There were also other aspects such as what it takes to work toward recovery, like language development and educational issues. The expression, ‘It takes a village’ was the heartbeat of the conference.

I witnessed mentor parents support for parents of newly diagnosed children too. I felt a tug at my heart as I too once was a newbie walking into a world of unfamiliar vocabulary and a scary future. I happily rejoiced though at hearing stories being celebrated about the almost-recovered to completely recovered from autism and vaccine injury. What a gift to meet those parents and to see what victory looks like!

At the dinner Saturday night, I felt the underlying message of the Autism One Conference was that we parents and providers are here because we believe, we hope, we dream, we can and we will. We will take back the child we once knew and held as normal and typically developing. The Autism Moms who took off the gloves sent their message too—we are angry, we are not afraid and we will not go away. The silence we hear from agencies and groups that should be helping us only feeds our desire to make recovery a reality.

There were, of course, the ‘wipe those tears away’ moments throughout the conference as I myself felt angry that the science is there but Science doesn’t listen. I felt pride as I heard moms like me share similar stories and cried because our force is so strong and so willing to do and overcome. I won’t ever be alone in this world because of these other parents I met.

I haven’t found everything I need to finish Ronan’s recovery or to make him complete…yet. Holes and detours still exist in his medical and educational plan. They crop up into our journey when I least expect it. But I have more literature and links to read from the conference thanks to the presentations and information booths. I do know that after a weekend like this, meeting and seeing hundreds of parents on the same mission I am on, I feel that even though I am only a blip on the radar screen of this awful epidemic, my desire to find my son is valid and still possible.

When I do find all the pieces of Ronan’s medical and developmental problems, he will come back to me just like the already-recovered children and families. What a destination to run toward! It’s always been a hopeful dream and I can’t wait to make it our own reality.

--
Thanks to all the inspirational people I got to meet in Chicago--it's an honor to be a part of the group of persistent ” take no crap and do the best” parents-with-attitude. Without Rob, Kim and Angela’s help, the weekend would not have been possible. Thank you Autism One and thank you Warriors!