"Behind closed doors..."

I suppose that I have given this subject quite a bit of thought. After five kids, a good portion of my life was devoted to teaching them proper bathroom habits. While I really was unprepared for managing a child with autism in this regard, I must say that I have learned from the experience. From birth to her current age (12 1/2), it has been clear to me that issues around eliminating were going to be monumental. I’m not kidding, either, the bathroom can either be heaven or hell.

I wanted to share a few tips that have worked for me. Should I have had any indication that I would need this information prior to the “training” period, our lives would have gone somewhat more smoothly (no pun intended). Katie would have had less trauma and we would have had less of a, “What, the…?” reaction to her less than mild response to bodily functions.

In the interest of humor and laughing at life, I am sharing a few of my tips and helpful hints.

1. Take out stock in toilet paper. No, that is not “buy lots of toilet paper”, it’s buy “stock” in Charmin, because: a) it is soft enough b) it has 400, 2-ply sheets, and c) the dividends earned from supporting their company may pay for retirement. Do not buy the scratchy, thin paper that tears easily. The kids have sensory issues about this awful paper and it clogs the toilet even better than the good stuff. A good rule of thumb is that your Christmas bonus should cover a month’s worth… I’m not kidding… everytime Katie goes into the bathroom, I can hear the trees screaming.

2. Have the plumber on speed-dial. Find someone sensitive to the fact that he will have his Thanksgiving dinner interrupted with a desperate, “Please come! It’s the only bathroom she will use!”

3. Accept that some daily activities must be completed in the nude. A trail of clothing leading to the bathroom door will be your indicator.

4. Relent to the fact that the small, confined, windowless bathroom will be theirs. A large, open, sunny, windowed room that has lots of light and tile (which bounces sound) may not be to her delight.

5. Understand that the child will be requiring silence and the better part of an hour. Don’t wait until you or other family members need to “go” if you only have one bathroom. If she makes it inside before you, God help anyone who wants to argue that they “need to go first”.

6. Be sure to have “peritoneal bottles” for the girls. One with a single drop of gentle, liquid soap and warm water, and the other with warm water only. These are a lifesaver for our plumbing. She uses less paper because she feels clean after washing with the bottles. My first choice was a Toto Washlet, but we just couldn’t afford it. Europeans have the right idea with their bidets.

7. Have another bathroom in your house for everyone else. Refer to #5.

8. When traveling and using restrooms anywhere other than home, scope it out for the ultimate privacy and comfort. Shopping malls with large, noisy, tile covered bathrooms are especially difficult for them to tolerate. She will hold on and not go at all if she isn’t comfortable. This resulted in a trip to the hospital while in Texas because she wouldn’t go at grandma’s house.

9. Stress = irregularity. Raisins, prunes, Cracklin’ Oat Bran, water and Dulcolax are in my “best friends” food group. If it keeps the troops moving through her colon, I use it.

10. Medication management can (in our case) eliminate the desire to handle/play with the “results”. Find solutions that work for your child as they are all different. When Katie’s impulses were under control (stressing in our case it was with medication), the compulsion to use “it” for artistic expression waned.

Folks, this is an area of particular difficulty to cope with. I’ve been there as most of you have. Some more, some less. I’ve decided that if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. That is why…

I never forget to laugh.

© Cassie M. Ferguson, 2009, Autism Funhouse and autismfunhouse.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Cassie M. Ferguson, Autism Funhouse and autismfunhouse.com, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.