Autism Attitudes: Working through the Stuff... What we deal with...

I am honored to have a guest post by a true Warrior Mom.... I am proud that Angela is my friend...

By: Angela Warner

The past 36 hours of my life have been absolutely fascinating. Fascinating is the only word I can
come up with right now to describe them. In the past 36 hours I have had just 2 hours of sleep,
and that was a nap in 1 hour increments. Lack of sleep in stretches like this makes me lucid, and
while I wanted to go to bed at one point, I had a few things to finish up. Little did I know just
how much I would finish up, and ironically it had nothing to do with autism, but as a Warrior
Mother of four, two recovered from autism, somehow it all comes back to that. I don’t think that
is a coincidence.

Yesterday started out like any other day for a mom of four who is going through every item
in her home purging, in preparation to move from a “box” of a townhouse where we’ve lived
for the past six years. We’re about ready to close on our first home, and it’s definitely not a
box. It’s crazy to say the least. After a wonderful day of purging and giving to families in need,
and therapist’s, things we no longer need (pay it forward and back), my husband and I had a
wonderful and loving, intimate if you will, evening just hanging out talking over some music and
a few cocktails. He went to bed as he had to work today (Sunday), and we parted ways for the
night (my husband is very respectful of my need for total quiet at times and my need to work and
finish things up). I planned on being in bed by midnight. I was actually planning on waking him
up; I know… imagine that coming from the “F-Autism Mom”. Little did I know midnight was
when my lucid trip would begin.

I have been planning on getting a another tattoo since the singer of my all time favorite band
passed away last April, and Dave and I listened a lot of Type-O-Negative last night. I was going
to render a crude drawing of what I wanted so Nathan, one of our recovered kiddo’s, to perfect.
Nathan is incredibly artistic with all things that require imagination and vision. How appropriate
that he do the final rendition of my tattoo. I then had an email to finish up to my husband. I know
that may sound weird, but with certain situations that have come up recently, some things are
better written and left unspoken.

I’m sitting in my recliner coloring (yes, I drew the tattoo with crayons), and Bill Maher decides
it is time for his show. So I’m trying to type an email to my husband about a very serious issue I
am dealing with, and I am laughing so hard… that email? What email??? I love Bill Maher, and
I enjoy the time as I am rarely up late enough to do so. Bill ends with an absolutely hysterical
closing to his show and I finally calm my laughter, and begin to focus once again on the serious
issue of my email. A movie starts while I’m typing. I have no idea what it is, but about 15
minutes or so into it I hear one sentence that changes everything. I look up and see a girl my age
living out the nightmare of losing her mother in an explosion; the only difference being is that
her mother dies instantly, while my father lives for 2 months to the day, in a drug induced coma
with 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. He passed from this earth March 6,
1984. I was never able to begin properly grieving his death until events that began to transpire
just over the summer.

Just as the young girl in this movie was not able to properly grieve her mother and fully process
what had happened due to very difficult circumstances of her own, there I was watching this
young girl endure many of the same processes that I endured. As the closing on our first home

is just a week or two away, I find myself properly grieving my father’s death in a whole and
healthy way. A “family saga” that has been passed down for three generations, and ultimately led
to my father’s death in an indirect way, stops with me. I am finding much peace and closure to a
journey that forced me through a living hell for almost 27 years.

While some of this may not make sense, as far as why the closing on our home would bring me
to a point of being able to properly grieve my dad’s death, its relative as it was a “family saga” of
sorts in the movie. But, it’s really not the point, as far as this story is concerned. It continued to
play on into the wee hours of the morning and the rising of the Sunday morning sun.

In the hour and a half after the movie ended, I attempted through many tears to finish up the
email to my husband. I reflected on much. The times in my life in which I have been as lucid
as I was last night, have been during cross country drives alone (coast to coast) that I have
thoroughly enjoyed accomplishing in less than 3 days. When I’ve shared of these experiences,
many people have told me since then that you either, end up hating yourself or loving yourself.
For me, the outcome was the latter. Not that I thought or think I am the bomb or anything like
that, but more from a clarity of thought perspective and the true knowledge that I was ok with
who I was, and although I didn’t make some of the best choices up to those times, I could live
with them, accept them, and was not afraid to share them. Lucid, completely clear; those I felt
last night as I drove down the highway of my father’s death again, reliving each step in my
attempt at getting over his death and finding some kind of ability to move on in peace.

So what does this have to do with anything? By this time it was about 4:00 am. I could not shut
my brain off. I knew I would not be able to sleep. My husband was due to get up in an hour
anyway, and I figured the coffee maker would be going off soon. Besides, I needed to make sure
my clock watcher was up (Isaac, my other recovered son and football fanatic to boot), to know
to wake me up so I didn’t miss any of the Steelers Red Zone. Yes, that is how much of a Steelers
fan I am. So, I went to that place we all seem to be these days to stay in communicate and stay in
touch with our loved ones and our friends; FaceBook. Who do I see is up? None other than, Tim
Welsh. Tim is always one for a good fb chat or conversation, so, I chat him. Tim has become
a good friend, and one I am definitely blessed to have. Turns out fb chatting him, was the right
thing to do I suppose because what happened next is exactly what led to me sharing all of the
above with you. Those lucid hours led me to remember details I had long forgotten, but needed
to remember to respond to a message he sent me during our fb chat.

You see, Tim had been tweeting with some (my words) whack job who thinks they’re qualified
to make statements such as this, “That's fine. As long as you understand that you have no right
for your layman's opinion on medical matters to be listened to.” She feels qualified to make such
statements, simply because her husband is a physicist. Please. Either that or she feels qualified to
make such a statement because she worked on the X-Files – “I Want To Believe”. You can check
Gia out (HERE) http://www.giagia.co.uk/ My response to Tim, as he was tweeting back and forth
with this self proclaimed “science groupie and professional dork”, was that unless you’ve got
a “dog” in this fight, don’t (insert your own profanity) tell me ‘I have no right for my opinion on
medical matters to be listened to’. It didn’t come out quite like that in the chat session, but Tim
got the jist of what I was saying. My further commentary in response to Gia’s ignorant statement
goes something like this: Because let me tell you something you (insert more profanities of your
choice), if it wasn’t for the simple FACT that I MADE Medical and Educational Professionals
LISTEN to my “layman’s opinion on medical matters” my boys would not be recovered from

autism, nor would I have a son and a daughter recovering from Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome
(TSC). And had I not MADE those Medical Professionals LISTEN to my “layman’s opinion” on
those issues, I would have 3 kids well beyond the age of being potty trained still pissing and
shitting their pants, and I would have 2 who would have severe and permanent bladder and bowel
damage of significant proportions. The medical condition of TSC, if not surgically addressed,
could have also led to permanent physical paralysis.

I’d like to say those MEDICAL “Professionals” told me with regard to my oldest who had been
diagnosed with PDD-NOS that they didn’t think he had TSC, and this Dr. wanted to refer my son
to a neuro-psychiatrist, and he had the cahones to say to me during the visit, “well he has been
diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, hasn’t he?”. Yeh, that “doc” is a neuro-surgeon
at OHSU. My son was diagnosed and had surgery 3 months later finding his spinal cord to be
covered with fatty tissue (one of the visible markers on the MRI the psych rx’ing doc saw), and
4 times the normal size, and very hard (meaning it didn’t stretch and flow the way it should).
My younger son underwent one of his evaluations at OHSU at the CDRC. They diagnosed him
with something other than autism, and told me they thought his regression was due to his dad’s
deployment with the military. Essentially that I was a refrigerator mother and I was not capable
of being both mom and dad. They also told me that with 6 to 8 one hour sessions, once a week,
he would be fine. We did 8 months of sessions and saw no improvement. Any gains he made
during that time were because of the instinctive ABA I was doing at home with him, and had
nothing to do with OHSU’s “sessions”.

Now, forgive my potty mouth… sometimes the ignorance of people, and especially that of a self
proclaimed “science groupie and professional dork”, piss me off to the point that I just have to
let my anger out. Now, if you didn’t think it could get any worse, you’re in for a ride. Oh yeh, it
get’s better. Ready? ???

The next gem Gia had the audacity to tweet to Tim; “You only think a 'poison' caused it
because you need an answer. It's *really* difficult to not have answers. Easier to blame. - Gia
Milinovich”. Tim asked how I would respond, and every single thought I had over all of my
lucid hours came flooding back again, and I simply told him that if he wanted an answer to that
he needed to pick up the phone.

How would I respond to such an ignorant statement? Well, it goes something like this, and Gia,
you self proclaimed “science groupie and professional dork”, I do hope you are reading this, and
that you comment if you have the balls, although I doubt you do. I told Tim the following, and
I’m paraphrasing myself (I’m fast approaching 40 hours here with 2 hours total sleep)…

I would tell (yeesh, you know the drill), [Gia] this… I had no idea what caused my kids autism,
just as most parents of kids with autism initially don’t. We are not looking to blame something or
someone, we want answers to help our kids get better because no one in the medical community
knows, and no one seems to really be interested or even CARE about what causes autism.

When my dad died, I never saw him after he passed. Not seeing him after his passing led to
issues of their own aside from the “family saga” I spoke of earlier. In other words, I had no
assurance, other than that of my mom’s words, via the docs words which I never heard for
myself, that yes, my dad was in fact dead. When I finally got through that aspect of grieving
(denial), and realized years later that he was really dead, I needed clear answers. At the very

least, I needed answers that I could live with in my heart and soul, and answers that all these
years later still matched up with what my mom and I initially came to the conclusion had
happened to cause the explosion of his car; where they found my dad in the car 8 minutes later,
and answers that matched up with the burn pattern on his body. So 21 years after his death, and
roughly 4 months after my younger son was diagnosed with autism, I began my investigation.

Twenty-one years after my dad died, I tracked down the Sherriff of Yavapai County and 2 of
the Deputy’s who were part of the investigation into my dad’s death. I also tracked down 2 of
the firefighter’s who were on the scene and helped get my dad out of his car. I talked with them
extensively. It was an incredibly difficult time but also one of parallel to my boys’ regression
into autism, and it was a good teacher for the research I would do to find the cause and answers
to the cause of my boys’ autism (and I was no “science groupie” – I was in the process of
applying to midwifery college after 3 years of pre-nursing school, when my younger son was
diagnosed). I spent many a week in deep contemplation before I would make that next phone
call. Those calls were very detailed, and the majority lasted an hour or more, and they were
painful.

So according to this quack, Gia, I and fellow autism parents, want something to blame. Oh, the
irony. I think she coined herself correctly; groupie and dork are pretty accurate self descriptions
(although personally I’d add a few colorful adjectives), and I’d add IGNORANT as the precursor
to those colorful adjectives, and I’ll tell you why. Read the tweet one more time, “You only think
a 'poison' caused it because you need an answer. It's *really* difficult to not have answers. Easier
to blame. - Gia Milinovich”. What Gia fails to see, is that if we blame a vaccine (“poison”),
ultimately the blame comes back on us, the parents of children with autism. Why? Because we
trusted someone else to do what was right by our kids, A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL at that,
and we parents gave them permission to inject our children with vaccines (NOT immunizations)
which, for the vast majority of children who have autism, caused them to develop autism. Do
you really think Gia, that we go looking to blame ourselves?

We, as parents of children with autism, have already been blamed enough, and it started
with the “refrigerator mother” theory. We’re sick of blame. It’s not about blame. It’s about
accountability, and if Gia had a child who regressed after one single vaccine or multiple vaccines
given at one time, she would understand. Gia obviously doesn’t, and quite obviously as just
a “science groupie and professional dork”, hasn’t done her research. If she had, Gia would have
seen this and kept her mouth shut. (HERE) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LAals4tCY I
hate to be patronizing after so much implied potty mouth, but… DUH! I critiqued that “paper”
(HERE) http://www.midwiferytoday.com/enews/enews0913.asp#feed giving the 2nd most toxic
element known to man, the “clear”, in response to one of the most highly respected MEDICAL
PROFESSIONALS in the midwifery community who believed it because it supported his
own theory of autism causation. The man, Dr. Michel Odent is NOT the parent of a child
with autism, to my knowledge has never interviewed a parent of a child with autism, nor is
he an autism expert. Leave that to the parents of children with autism, thank you very much.

There was also another topic that Tim and I discussed 18 hours or so ago… toxic media.
Apparently this Gia person had made reference to some kind of media (presumably autism media
of sorts) being toxic and leading us to believe our kids our being “poisoned”. Well, if I may for
just a moment talk about how toxic the media is; the media that the majority of America, and
most likely the world including the UK. When my dad died, the local paper printed that my

dad committed suicide. It was sensational news to print. Capture the attention of the “world”
with news that you don’t know to be true and factual. I lived in a small community, at the time
Cottonwood was probably about 15,000 people. After a week off of school after my dad died,
funeral, and grieving, blah blah blah (LOL), I was at my bus stop my first day back to school
and kids taunted me that my dad had killed himself. I had no idea that the paper had printed
this. My mom sheltered me as much as she could. All I remember is bursting into tears, and my
counterparts of the “3 Muskateers” that we were, pulling me aside telling me it would be ok.
For me to be ok, it took almost 27 years because of toxic media and lies such as the ones I speak
of directly above. I learned the TRUTH from a series of toxic UNTRUTHS (and far too many
beyond the scope of this column – post – what ever the heck you want to call it) to imagine; it
goes back to the 3 generations of the “family saga”.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child”. Children look to place blame. When you have a
child, you grow up quickly. When my dad died, I was a child and I wanted someone to blame.
I know what led to it, for sure, but there were too many something and someone’s to blame
(Chevrolet, the family saga, my own dad for not being able to deal with it and myself for not
always understanding, and for a time, I even suspected one person VERY close to me of foul
play). I did my investigation. I put all the pieces together, and there was nothing. I wanted there
to be something. My dad’s death could NOT just be some terrible tragedy. I wanted there to be
someone or something to blame, with all of my being. There was nothing and no one who could
be directly blamed, only indirectly blamed – the “family saga”.

With autism, for hundreds of thousands of children, there is something and many someone’s to
blame, and unfortunately, we the trusting parents as well. And my, does that sting, as bad if not
worse than the needle that causes autism and other life changing health issues in our vaccine
injured children. I liken it to the burning diarrhea our kids have too many times every day from
severe Gastro-immune issues caused by injected toxins in the form of vaccinations. Too many
episodes of burning diarrhea on some days, to even count. That burning shit comes in many
different forms, and I’ll tell you right now, as long as people keep riding in that damned blue
sedan, and deny that parents every day are losing their kids to autism and worse… you’re going
to have hell to pay. Stay tuned as I sock it to those who continue believing in the safety of that
damn blue sedan, as I journey my own recovery through recently concluded mito dysfunction,
most likely induced by lead and mercury toxicity. (And I mean recent; try August on for size)

All it would take to avoid that is one simple study that we have been asking for, yet continually
denied. Yes, epidemiological in “nature”, but from one who has read thousands of “studies”
across many different fields of medicine (related to prior professions) it’s not that difficult to
figure out.

I’m hesitant to close with this, but feel I must so I will. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that
my dad did NOT commit suicide. I know he was the type of man who gave the shirt off his back
to someone who needed it more than he did. I’ve seen him do just that. I know he’s watched over
me for these past (almost) 27 years, and what I learned from his death and his spirit helped me
have the strength to recover my boys. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is no longer
worried about me and my kids. It may sound unbelievable, but my dad, his name is Rex, is
watching over all the young spirits who were vaccine injured and have been taken from us. And
if you expect me to tell you about this verbally, please be ready to see or hear some tears. My
dad is giving the shirt off his back to OUR Angels, because his “angel” doesn’t need it anymore.

P.S. Gia is honestly too pretty of a name for this cold blooded beeatch, so from here forth, can
we all please refer to her, at least here on AoA as GMO? That stands for Genetically Modified
Offit. Thanks, I appreciate your help and understanding regarding this issue.

Angela Warner is a proud Air Force spouse, and mom to four kids all under the age of 11, two
are recovering/recovered from autism, two recovered from Tethered Spinial Cord, and one
currently being evaluated for Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (another immune disease most likely
mercury poisoning). Ang is also the Founder of Autism Salutes, the Military Contributing Editor
for AoA, the DoD Liaison for SafeMinds Government Affairs Committee, one of two Autism
Liaison’s for Military Families, and the Auction Coordinator for Autism One.

http://www.causecast.org/member/tanners-dad

What can you do today...

If you are a parent... Love your child unconditionally. Do not let your child feel they are any less because they cannot communicate the way we do or look after themselves. Do not forget to look after yourself and your significant other. ( If you don't have one find one...There is someone out there for everyone. You deserved to be loved also). Join a church. Speak to your friends. Keep up the good fight.

If you are Friend... If you have resources please consider supporting Generation Rescue as they move the agenda towards services and support programs. If you do not have financial resources provide respite services... Babysit, go with a parent to the grocery store, or running errands. Be there to listen.

If you are in the medical community it is time to wake up and do something...
If you are in the insurance industry it is time to make the people responsible pay...
if you are in the media it time to tell the truth...
If you are in the government it is time act...
If you are in education it is time to educate...
If you are in a religious community it is time to rally the troops to support families...
If you are involved in a Autism group please invite them to join the Move to Heal Autism By 2030 (MTHA)

If you are in contact with amanda peet and have a child with Autism invite her over to experience our lives first hand and but out of our childrens and the future of others children.

If you are impacted by autism (that means you are part of the human race) Join me in the fight. Join causecast with your own cause or mine. Make a difference in our world. now. State your change! Then make it happen.

If you happen to have some sleeping pills, sleep ideas for children with autism, or want to come spend the night let me know.... I need a nap.

Say a prayer for all those dealing or not dealing with their "Autism Like" conditions.

On Twitter #FeelAutismYet #TruthFirst #Autismabc #APE #Autism #BFH #Tahml #HDTJ #HC09 #PMB @TannersDad #UWAC, #FAY #AGRT #ENZY, AhaF

If you are in the pharmaceutical industry it is time to pray...

If you or a family member in the Military are impacted by Autism help me promote a meeting between Angela Warner from www.AutismSalutes.com and Michelle Obama http://tinyurl.com/m9r8ws

People it is just time to deal with Autism....

How much longer…