Are you stressed too?

There’s been an awful lot of talk about the intense amount of stress that autism parents experience compared to other parents. http://www.topautismsites.com/r/News/Mothers_Of_Children_With_Autism_Hav... Even more stressed than parents of children with varying disabilities when compared with autism. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/14/for-mothers-the-stress-of-autism/ And then there are those which serve to expand upon the reasons. http://autism.about.com/b/2009/07/16/why-is-autism-stressful-for-parents...

Now, while all of this is well and good, educating the general population, it actually causes me, the parent of a child with autism, even more stress. Why? For one, how much money did it cost them to figure that one out? All they really needed pay was attention! HELLO?!? The writing is on the walls, all over the WORLD people! I mean really!! How many stories have you read about children AND adults with autism being lost due to elopement? Or found dead due to drowning and usually, also due to elopement. How about being hit in traffic? Dying at the hands of a parent or caregiver; read any of those lately? I have. Or how about being abused in their educational settings, group homes or other care facilities? These accounts seem to be in abundance. Wouldn’t that cause anyone stress? Waiting and wondering if your loved one will be next. There but for the grace of God, go I.

Now granted, I have vested interest and am applicably more prone to tune in pay attention when I hear the “A” word. But still, isn’t anyone paying attention? Which, brings me to our government. UGH! A true love/hate relationship for me. I LOVE to advocate for our families with autism. I loathe all the B.S. that comes with the territory! I KNOW for a fact; parents are talking, advocating, corresponding, speaking out, even marching and rallying. AGAIN…..HELLO?!?! Aren’t they listening? Do they even care? What on Earth is the matter with them? Okay….let’s not go there. I think it best we save that one for an entirely new discussion, all of its own. But honestly, I envision this to end up exactly as oil prices, our environment, health care and the economy have. There they’ll sit, up on that Hill, scratching there heads, drinking their favorite beverage of choice, brought to them by an under paid page who is NEVER allowed to be in a media shot with them, all of whom are paid by taxpayers, and although the page will have, our almighty Congress will not have clue. They will not have seen the economic disaster coming as more children are added to the current autism tsunami, and as many, many more become adults. Both of whom are costing the taxpayers billions, more likely, trillions of dollars annually for their care. Not to mention, there seriously are not enough services to go around already. Perhaps another stimulus package will be in store?

Are you stressed yet? I am. In fact, I’m mad as Hell! (Oops….did I say that out loud?)

There are numerous, countless reasons for autism parents to be stressed. Too many to mention here; not to mention, I’d only be preaching to the choir. So I won’t. Instead, I’ll mention what would lessen our stress. Here are but a few very, very simple ideas for medical professionals, educators, researcher, scientists and Congress that would all but alleviate our stress and….save lives as well as livelihoods.

For pity sake, doctors, listen to your patients! Don’t only listen to them, take them seriously. More importantly, take them for their word. And for crying out loud, stop looking at us like we have two heads or worse, patronizing us. If you took the time to listen, we might actually know a thing or two, and you might actually learn something worthwhile. YOU might actually become a valuable member of the team.

The same goes for the educators! Prepare to be educated!! They are our children. We know them best! We also are our own autism experts. Not because that is what we desired for our lives. Oh no, it was born purely out of necessity. Survival of the fittest, if you will. Please, keep that in mind. What's more, we’re educated ourselves. We know our rights. And what we don’t know, we can very quickly find. You see, we are well connected and sophisticated, also born of necessity. We take that survival of the fittest thing pretty seriously. So would you try please, to be a better team player?

Researchers and scientists alike, please, get your heads out of your butt….whoops….I mean….books and go to the source – the patients and those who love and care for them. For the most part, from what I’ve seen and read of too many of those costly studies, all you needed to do was ask. Think of all the money we’d have saved. Why, there’d be money left over. Perhaps for something more “centsible,” like treatments that already work!

Members of Congress, begin to not only earnestly listen, ACT. We NEED ACTION! And we need it NOW!! The sooner the better. And for the love….we really are not as ignorant as you’d have us be!!! I’m a taxpayer. I work hard for my money. I’d sincerely like something in return for allowing you to serve me at my own expense. I must say, when it comes to autism, the service is direly lacking. You can do better.

Finally, my fellow inhabitants of this Earth, please pay attention because we, the autism parents, we’re exhausted. We’re financially devastated, we’re discouraged much of the time (see above), and we’re doing the very best we are able to in very trying circumstances. Please, lend a hand when you are able, and when you are not able, just lend an empathetic ear to listen, and possibly even a shoulder to cry on now and then. There but for the grace of God, go I.