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This is one of the hardest things for me to write and share with possibly thousands of people that I don’t know. However, if it helps one father, one family, and one child then it was all worth it.

Many people ask me, “Are you a Dad?” “No,” I respond but I have 40 children that I work with each day. I have been working with children on the spectrum for the last 5 years and most recently work at a school for children with autism, where we serve children from ages 5-21. There of nearly 70 employees I am one of 5 males that work with the children.

Over the years I have spoke with many moms and fewer dads. All have been inspirational for me to keep me moving forward in what I want to do. But routinely I talk with moms and they tell me about the struggle with their husbands “lack of involvement.”

Dads…hear me out. I am sure you have heard your wives say something similar to this, maybe in harsher terms. But let me try to help you. I realize that we (males) are different in our emotions. But your child was given to you to make an impact in their lives, much like I was given to work with your children. Yes, I know I don’t have a child at home with me, screaming, biting, kicking, seizing or God knows what else. But for the eight hours a day that I am at school I may be changing a diaper of a 14 year old, getting bit, poked, trying to help a child in a seizure and so on. Yes, they are not my child but I treat them as they are.

Dads..maybe you are now saying to yourself, this guy doesn’t know what it feels like to lose something, the humiliation that I feel, how depressed I am but I can relate.

When I was a child I was taken advantage of, and didn’t realize any of this till my early twenties. I was humiliated, depressed, felt at fault, I didn’t know what to do. I was lost, didn’t want to talk to anyone and thought that I could fix the problem myself. I can’t explain how wrong I was.

This anger, depression and everything I felt inside needed to come out, but in a responsible, mature manner. For almost two years it never did. My actions not only affected myself, my business, my business partners, my relationships and the children I was working with. I thought I was being a man by trying to fix it myself, but I was truly being a coward. Men are not cowards.

Finally, thanks to some incredible people in my life, I was able to find help. I went to talk with a therapist. OH NO! DID I JUST USE THE T-WORD? Dads, lets be honest, we all have issues, you, your wife, your co-worker, and your dad etc…we all need to talk to someone.

As I sat with the therapist for nearly three hours, I explained my story, my feelings and cried non-stop. I knew this is what I needed but it was just cracking the surface. Dad’s if you do decide to go talk with someone, unrelated to your family and friends, what you must realize is that everything will not be fixed in one-session. It takes time, you can’t rush it. It took me nearly 3 years and I still go, just not as often.

Dads are you now saying, we don’t have the money for that? I promise you that if you told your wife what you were doing and why, each of you would find some means to get the money. She doesn’t want go through this battle alone. She needs you and you need her.

As I said earlier I am working at a school for children with autism and being a male it is incredible to see the response that I get from some of the children. Other teachers and therapists (females) tell me daily that it is so good for the kids to have a male around. The impact that a male can have is different from that of a female, whether it be in your child’s recovery or your voice at an IEP meeting.

Dad’s you may not know the impact you can have on your child. See them for the capabilities not disabilities, be apart of their world, and they just may enter yours.