Table for five...

When you have five kids, there is no chance that you won’t be kept awake by worries over at least one of them. The worries are not limited to the child with the neurological disorder.

My 20-year-old daughter, Lauren, will ask “Why do you sound panicked when I call?” Well… it could be that the call is either a) she has had an incident with her car, b) she has had an incident with her horse or c) she is sick.

Considering that Lauren has broken more bones than the other four put together, I have reason to worry. She is the jock, the one with the daring-do. Sleepless nights abound with this one.

Katie just loves to police her sister. With the neuropathy of autism Katie sees the world in black and white. No shades of gray for her. Something is either right or wrong. On the up side, she is honest and forthright. On the downside for Lauren, she is honest and forthright. She loves to share what she has seen and heard, much to her sister’s very loud and explosive dismay. I think she feels “held hostage” by Katie… which gives me a small amount of relief… and a slightly more restful night.

Of course, her lack of understanding ambiguity works against all of us. Katie has a tendency to have an “all or nothing” bent to her comments … “Daddy never remembers to give me breakfast.” ”Mommy never remembers to braid my hair.” I find it funny when I’m later reading about her outbursts, but at the moment they are happening we all hope we aren’t going to be at the receiving end.

I think that my point today is that when you have someone in your life who has difficulty editing what they say, you can take it as both a gift and a curse. You always hold your breath when in public with your child because when the mouth opens, anything can come out. ”You are so beautiful.” will share equal time with “I think you are just like me… autistic.” Daily reminders of social etiquette are critical when trying to protect Katie from herself. Not to mention the unsuspecting and non-appreciative receiving public.

At the end of the day, Katie’s sense of humor is blooming and she is learning to hold back from releasing every thought that pops into her head.

Which leads me to today’s interaction. I have developed a peanut allergy and have had to sacrifice my love of anything with peanuts for survival. My love of peanuts is only matched by my love of chocolate, which gives you an idea of the depth of my sacrifice.

As Katie is well aware of this fact, she delivered my daily dose while making a sandwich…. “Ohhh, I love peanut butter…. it’s so creamy… mmmmmm… sorry mom, I’m sorry you can’t eat this but, ohhhh… it’s so yummy… mom, it’s so sad that you can’t have any…”

I open my mouth to protest when Lauren enters the room prior to going out with friends. ”How do I look? Do I look O.K.? Do you like this top?”

“You look great, Lauren.” I say.

Katie turns toward Lauren, opens her mouth and…wait for it…”WELL, I WOULDN’T WEAR THAT!”

I said she is learning to hold back…

I never forget to laugh.

© Cassie M. Ferguson and Autism Funhouse, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Cassie M. Ferguson and Autism Funhouse with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.