Buried treasure...

This morning I had a gaggle of 20-year-old young women in my kitchen. Not a klinker in the bunch, Lauren and her friends were chatting, laughing and the “one-day-to-be” pastry chef, Hollie, was preparing glorious waffles.

Mornings such as this are the “buried treasure” of life. As the mother of five ranging from 31 to 9, I have had my share of good times, bad times, tears, sorrow, grief, joy and laughter. During the difficult times we often forget the blessed times. Maybe this is the meaning of life… balancing the joy with the sorrow.

Kahlil Gibran wrote, "On Joy and Sorrow…When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

Katie has reached my depths of sorrow and equally filled my heart with joy. Minutes can easily become hours of managing her depression and anxiety. Holding her, squeezing her, searching all my resources to bring her moments of comfort become all-encompassing for me. These days end with emotional and physical exhaustion for us both. I will drift-off to sleep with the hope of a better day to come.

I can only say this with equal emphasis on the great joy Katie brings to our lives. I will peek into her room at 2:00 a.m., to find her wide awake, writing a book about fairies. Her creativity in full bloom, details of each individual fairy part of a world exploding with beauty, adventure and humor. Katie’s artistic and literary gifts are inspirational and magical. She is affectionate and nurturing one moment, determined and stubborn the next.

While I am fully aware that each child on the spectrum is different, they each have gifts to share. They bring us sorrow and joy and a reminder of what we truly value. I know full well that my life is better because of my experiences with autism in the family. Reaching out to those struggling with a child has brought me a great sense of purpose and the support that I, in turn, receive gives me hope for Katie’s future.

I would find it profoundly difficult to get through my day without humor. My mother told me, “If you can laugh, you can get through anything.” While it seemed like an oversimplification at the time, I have found that I draw from her wisdom often.

So I would say that when the day is dragging on with a child whom has drained your bucket dry, remember this. Draw on the funny moments you have experienced with your child. Write them down so that you don’t forget. Those moments will help balance the difficult times.

For me, it’s Katie calling, “Mommy, you need to shave under my arms. There are BEARS in my forest!”

I never forget to laugh.

© Cassie M. Ferguson and Autism Funhouse, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Cassie M. Ferguson and Autism Funhouse with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.