nicolemiller2000's blog

In our family we have a super Dad. Two years back I wrote this letter about my husband. With our newly diagnosised son,our life felt more hectic. We actually do more therapy with him now than we did then, but these last couple of years have found our family learning to adjust to our schedule and still find time to be a family together. This is my letter. Happy Father's Day to the best Dad's in the world.

A friend of mine with a six year old who has autism has recently had a baby. She wants to do things differently this time, she said. The baby is now about 10 months and she is often worried that he may be showing signs of autism. When we get together, she always asks if he’s doing anything that could be an early sign.

What’s a family to do when you see that debt mounting? We spend thousands, tens of thousands and even hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to help our child. We choose between giving him the possibility of independence and drowning our family in that debt – what a bad choice. Where do we turn? The therapeutic community offers fractions of the needed services for an unreasonably high price. The medical community – well let’s face it, they’ve abandoned us, even professionals can tell you that.

With my son turning five in a few weeks, I am still relatively new to our journey with Autism. I can remember a time when he was two and our family was in crisis. My husband and I could not understand his behavior. We had moved over 200 miles away from any family and had not yet been able to establish ourselves in our new community or make friends. We had no experience with Autism and could not understand what our child was trying to tell us. Frustration set in and depression ruled my days. I can remember holding my head in my hands and thinking "Please - I need help.

Now that my soon to be five year old son with ASD is approaching his birthday, we have been practicing what that is, what a party will look like and some of the related issues of time. A very anxiety filled event for him, birthdays are scary. Teaching a child about the passage of time is hard enough, throw autism into the mix and you just never know what you'll get. Thru our journey into understanding all this, he's found a new favorite question: "How old are you?" Most four/five year olds repond ok to this - it is something most typical kids ask other kids.

For two years I have hoped for my state to pass the legislation that would give my son access to the services appropriate for his needs. I have been patient as I have given information to legislators two, three and even four times. I just don't understand how I live in a state that would rather spend money (estimates are at 2 million and up) to care for a person limited by autism instead of spending a much smaller amount (100-200 thousand) on appropriate early intervention.